I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
No subtext here. People are naked.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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