hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
