u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
then he tried to convert me to islam
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
