Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
