i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
