it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I AM VODKA MAN
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
