Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He? As in you personified your dick?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
