Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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