that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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