Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
