I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
