We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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