My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We got so high we made milksteak
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
