Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
