I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
