I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
