Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
