i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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