i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's just like the Real World with babies
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
