i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
