I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
