There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
