And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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