No stitches, just platelets and will power
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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