My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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