Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
