you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
