i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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