Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
