No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
BRING THE BAGELS
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
