I just saw a hot homeless man
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
