I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
