Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
