Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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