What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize