I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
