he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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