Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
