Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
