just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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