we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
