12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
