belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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