There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
