Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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