Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
