Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
