"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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