Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
no, he came in my armpit
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
