you would pick up someone in the library
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
