Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
