i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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