Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
