It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
