Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
