he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
