No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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