i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
