The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm like, not good at living.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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